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How to be a List-Building Douche-A-Saurus 101

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by David Garland in David's Blog

It’s not a big ole secret that building your email list and your relationship with your email list is the lifeblood of this business regardless if you are just getting started with a big fat list of zero people (totally cool everyone starts with zero) or you are a seasoned pro looking to continue to find more of “your peeps.”

Unlike all the social media platforms out there, your list is really the only MARKETING ASSET you OWN in your business. And it should be treated like gold.

Side note: For example, unless you are Mark Zuckerberg you don’t own Facebook. I remember a few years ago everyone was obsessed with building a super-big Facebook fan page and then overnight Facebook said, “Oh..BTW we are changing our algorithms so now when you post only about half a person will see it. Tee-hee!” That kind of stuff doesn’t happen with your email list.

Your email list is your number one marketing (and relationship building) asset in your business. Period.

Quite frankly when it comes to building your email list there are two ways to do it:

  1. The non-douche-a-saurus way (more about that in a minute)
  2. The douche-a-saurus way (not so good)

The non-douche-a-saurus way brings in the right people and builds up your know, like and trust factor (credibility). Yay!

The douche-a-saurus way does the opposite. It makes people hate you (LOL). And often times in secret because people don’t like to say, “Hey that was annoying I now hate you!”

Without further ado here is my special guide to How To Be A List-Building Douche-A-Saurus 101…



STEP #1. Make sure to create Facebook groups and add everyone you know to them despite the fact that probably 99.99% of the people you add have zero interest in the topic.

Ahhh Facebook! The land of people you went to high school with that you haven’t seen in a bazillion years, exes and that person you don’t really like but feel compelled to check their updates every 3 minutes.

If you are a list-building douche-a-saurus the first plan of action is to start a Facebook group. And then invite everyone you know. Everyone. Leave nobody out. Your 3rd grade teacher? Invite ’em. Your aunt who sends you weird holiday cards? Oh yah get her in there too.

Because when you add people to an irrelevant group…it makes them super happy. Now they are stuck getting updates and have to manually go in and remove themselves. It’s really fun.

And once you have this unsuspecting, untargeted folks in your group…you know what to do. Just pound them with messages to sign up for your email list. Duh!

(Side note: This morning I removed myself from a group someone added me to called “Women Architects Referral Network”….oh so close to having me pegged correctly).


STEP #2. Send out either MASS messages on Facebook and make sure to include as many people as possible or send weird private messages to people begging them to check out your (whatever it is).

I don’t know about you, but when I wake up in the morning I can’t WAITTTTTTTTTTT to have to click the “remove myself from conversation” when someone sends out a mass unsolicited FB atomic message bomb “inviting” me to join their email list for Dandelion Lovers (And Friends).

Oh and make sure to send as many people as you can an individual private message to tell them about your webinar/free video series/giveaway/contest where you are giving away a free monkey.

Totally works. Everyone will love you.


STEP #3: Add everyone’s email you have ever come in contact with to your email list. Friends, family, random business cards. If anyone has ever emailed you (EVER) or you have their email by some form of fashion…add it.

This is totally the most important step. Regardless of how you got their email address (even if it was overhearing a conversation at Starbucks)…add ’em baby! Who cares if they are interested in your topic or what you have to offer. Who cares about “permission” and “laws” and all that stuff.

Add ’em and pound ’em with emails until they love you. That’s my philosophy!

For example, in my building they send out periodic updates and sometimes forget to BCC everyone. A sketchy realtor in our building took everyone’s email addresses and added them to his personal e-blasts. Yay for him! So smart.


STEP #4: Spam the heck out of every Facebook group you are in. Spam ’em and spam ’em good.

In a Facebook group? Sounds like a great opportunity to get yourself some email addresses. Just constantly post links to YOUR stuff.

Link it up baby!

Take that traffic and stick it to the man. Build your list. Screw everyone else and “group rules” just keep doing it until you get kicked out. That will show ’em.

(Serious side note: Some groups DO allow this which is totally cool and encouraged in those groups just make sure to follow the group rules)


STEP #5: After completing Steps #1-#4 immediately create a course on how to create an amazing email list. Don’t worry that your email list is six people (2 of which are your different email addresses), you have a 99.99% unsubscribe rate and you started your list 3 days ago.

Get you some. You know you wanna you little devil, you.
And that my friends…is the definitive guide to being a list-building douche-a-saurus (and that was pretty much the most fun thing ever to write).

Now how about doing some list-building the RIGHT way? You know…the non douche-a-saurus way? A way where people will be salivating to hop into your (email) world?

Drumroll please…

The Three-Step Formula To Explode Your Email List (Without Spending A Fortune On Advertising Or Wasting All Day On Social Media)

Holy bananas we are teaming up again. Here’s what’s up…

  • The #1 question I get all the time besides, of course, how to create, promote & profit from online courses, is all about list building.
  • How do I build my list from SCRATCH without wasting time and money?
  • How do I double my list? Triple? 10x? Get a predictable stream of the RIGHT people (potential customers) signing up?
  • What strategies work best for list building that are quick, inexpensive and work over the long run so I can get a steady stream of the right peeps?

So, I’m bringing in our friend – my friend and yours – Mr. Nick “The British Are Coming” Stephenson for a special free training for you.

In case you are in the dark about Nick, here is a lighting quick synopsis.

  • Nick is a student of my Create Awesome Online Courses program.
  • Nick launched his very first online course (called Your First 10,000 Readers which helps authors who want to improve their marketing efforts and build their platform) to the tune of $130,208. That is not a misprint, hah. $130,208! (now it is much more than that in fact).

This is where it gets extra cool:

  1. Nick grew his course email list from 0-4,000 in 3 months.
  2. And then over the next 11 months he took his list from 4,000 to 27,000 (!) ….all using a few simple strategies, 98% of them are FREE (no big budget required, double yay).
  3. Nick’s methods are SIMPLE, FAST & REPLICABLE.

I tracked Nick down in jolly ole England and he and I are doing a special free training for you guys to show you how he did it (so you can copy it): The Three-Step Formula To Explode Your Email List (Without Spending A Fortune On Advertising Or Wasting All Day On Social Media)


Here is what you will learn:

  • The fantastical, magical three-step formula successful businesses are using right now to grow their email lists and build their audience (meaning more yummy sales for you)
  • The #1 mistake that KILLS people’s chances of getting traffic and leads – why everything you’ve been taught about generating traffic is wrong – and what you should do instead
  • Why your content marketing isn’t working for you to build your list – and what you need to do instead (hint = it’s the opposite of what you’re doing)
  • The 5 top traffic-generation methods Nick used to launch his new product to $130k in sales and then scale up 600%

Check out all the deets and grab your spot right here (choose the time that is best for you)

Have fun 🙂


8 Steps to Turning What You Already Know into a Successful Online Course

The 8 step process to the successful with online courses + free gifts for attending!

Unlock the Offer!